I'm Sorry that I'm Not Perfect
by PeaceLoveandWar67
Summary: Clare has changed. She wasn't St. Clare anymore. She's a completely different person. Rated T just to be safe!


So... yeah, I got this while I watching a movie at the hospital... Oh, did I mention that my sister and I got into a car accident a few weeks ago? We got out yesterday.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

Clare WILL be OOC in this **_oneshot_**. So please don't complain about how she's not like that on the show.

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><p><span>I'm<span> Sorry that I'm Not Perfect

Clare walked down the halls of Degrassi in silence, ignoring the unusual and cold looks half of the students are giving her. They were all wearing their school uniforms, but she wasn't. Instead, she was wearing something that 1) is against the school dress code, and 2) most people wouldn't expect her to wear. Her legs were showing through the ripped fishnet stockings. The plaid skirt was so short that anyone could see her butt if she bent down. Underneath her black, unzipped leather jacket was a white tank top that showed too much cleavage. To top it all off, she straightened her hair and put on a lot of dark make-up. It made the students think, "Who is that girl? I know that's not Clare Edwards!" Clare didn't care, however. She just simply rolled her eyes at their reactions.

Clare's been like this ever since her terrible break-up with Jake. She lost way too many friends because of him, including the one that she still loves. The girl that used to be socially awkward and had plenty of friends is now the kind of girl that feels like an outcast. Alli has tried numerous times to apologize to her about the whole cabin scene, but Clare refuses to accept it. She eventually gave up and started hanging out with Jenna more. The only friend she has now is Adam, but he's more of Eli's friend instead of hers.

She approached her locker and opened it. From the corner of her eye, Principal Simpson was walking down the halls. He slowed down a little as he walked passed her.

"Clare, you're not in uniform. That's detention on Friday," he said in a stern voice. She simply shrugged without turning around. He rolled his eyes at Clare giving him the silent treatment, but then he ran off after catching two sophomores making out.

The tardy bell rang, and Clare sighed. She slammed her locker door, which startled two people nearby. She looked, only to see Eli and Imogen standing there. Imogen just glared at her, while Eli looked at her in worry. Clare rolled her eyes and proceeded to her class, passing by them in the process. Unknown to her, Eli looked back, his face all concerned. But then, he managed to catch something that he didn't expect to see.

Clare entered the classroom, where the students, including Alli with a confused look and Jenna with a cold one, were staring at her. She disregarded them as the teacher gave her a detention slip. She snatched it from the teacher and took a seat by herself in the back. As soon she sat down, she noticed her sleeve from her jacket was slightly rolled up. Hoping that nobody notices, she pulled it back down, hiding the scars and bandages that were from her lovely friend, Mr. Razor.

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><p>She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror in disgust. She hated everything about herself. There was supposed an angel looking back all happy. Instead, it's just a demon looking all depressed. Something shining caught her eye. She looked down and saw the razor. It basically screamed, "Come on, Clare! I know you want to use me! Take away the pain! Don't you want me?" Without debating, she grabbed the taunting razor and sat at the edge of the bathtub. Her sleeve was rolled up, and without a warning, she made the first slice on her wrist. The sound of hissing was heard, but a smile crept on her face when the blood started appearing. The process was repeated, until the sound of Helen's scream was heard.<p>

"Clare Diane Edwards! Get down her this instant!" she yelled.

Clare groaned in annoyance, and she placed the razor on the sink counter. She grabbed some bandages from the counter and put them on the bloody cuts before she rolled her sleeve back down and went downstairs.

She entered the living room to see an unhappy Helen and a stern-looking Glen.

"Want to explain why I got a call from Principal Simpson about your two detentions?" Helen screeched. Clare just shrugged.

"Don't you dare give me the silent treatment," she commanded.

Clare sighed. "Degrassi's becoming a living hell, I guess."

"Watch your tone, young lady! What is up with you? It's like you're not even trying anymore!"

"Well, sorry if I'm not perfect."

"I'm not trying to make things perfect around here, Clare."

"But you are being a bitch."

In the next second, a sting was felt on Clare's cheek. She held it, realizing that her own mother had slapped her. Without fighting back, she ran out of the house, not daring to look back.

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><p>Clare finds herself in the alley near the Dot. She was sitting down on the concrete, leaning against the brick wall. All of the horrible memories from the past few months came back. She cringed at all of them. Every single one were making her feel like trash. Tears were starting to form, but she wiped them away.<p>

_Clare Edwards doesn't cry anymore. Don't let this one change it._

When she put her hand down, she felt something sharp. She looked down and saw a big piece of broken glass. She picked it up, twirled it once, and started thinking about what to do with it.

_Maybe I should end it here. No more being sad. Resting in peace with God._

As she was thinking, she thought about what would happen if she did it.

_What would happen with my friends and my family?_

She sighed as the tears started to flow down her cheeks, realizing that she was alone.

_I doubt they'll care._

Without hesitation, she plunged the sharp object to her stomach.

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><p>A horrifying scream was heard. People stopped and looked around, but they moved on with their lives when they thought it was someone being stupid. However, adjacent to the alley near the Dot was a boy. He couldn't believe what the now motionless girl did to herself. Tears were flowing down from his green eyes, and his world just came to a sudden stop.<p>

The former love of his life had just committed suicide.

He didn't make it in time to stop her. And tell her that she was stupid to even think about it.

If you think that it was a boy named Eli Goldsworthy that saw her...

You're correct.

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><p>Gahhh! I didn't know how to end this!<p>

Reviews?


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